It has come to my attention that many people hear a particular type of sound. This type of sound does not appear to emanate from the external environment, and does not require functioning ears to hear. Nevertheless, it is entirely audible, and can vary hugely in volume, pitch, and all the other things that distinguish different sounds.

Sometimes what is heard is music or other non-verbal sounds. Most of the time, however, this sound takes the form of words in a particular language or mix of languages, as if one were listening to speech.

Sometimes, the content of this verbal sound is relevant to the situation in which the listener finds themselves and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes the things it says are true and sometimes they are false. Later, the words can equally easily turn out to be great wisdom or utter nonsense. There is no way to tell from the sound itself which it is at any given time.

Two things amaze me about this phenomenon now I see it for what it is.

1) Based on the fact that they can hear it and nobody else can, people somehow make the staggering leap of logic to the belief that they must therefore be the ones producing it. They do so even though even the most cursory examination reveals that they have no power whatsoever to control the nature or content of the sound, which arises in their experience fully-formed.

2) People work on the assumption that the content of the sound must be meaningful by default. No matter how many times this turns out to be false, they assume that the sound is automatically worthy of their attention, and that any verbal sentences are, if not true by default, at least much more likely to be true than false.

Are you suffering from this strange phenomenon? Here is a quick questionnaire for self-diagnosis.

1) Do you have the experience of hearing a voice in your head?

2) Do you suffer from the delusion that you can control what this voice says, or when?

Observe it carefully the next time it speaks, and see if this is true.

3) When the voice makes a claim about reality, do you automatically make certain assumptions about what it says?

For example, do you assume that the claim is true until proven otherwise? Or do you assume that the claim is based on certain rational grounds, or on evidence? Do you assume that the claim is important to you and worth hearing out in full? Do you assume that acting on the claim will be to your benefit?

Looking at everything the voice has said in the past, have these assumptions proven to be always or even usually correct?

Please note that the phenomenon can manifest in two other common ways - visual images and physical sensations, the latter typically concentrated around the head and upper torso. The questions listed here are equally applicable to them with a minimal degree of adaptation.

If you have been thorough in your self-diagnosis, it will also have constituted a preliminary course of treatment. When these so-called "thoughts" are carefully examined, and the fact that they have no automatic credibility or significance becomes obvious, their harmful effects on the human psyche are significantly mitigated.

Here at Iatrogenesis Labs, we are working hard on a cure for human domination by thought. In the meantime, the above medical advice, taken with daily supplements of scepticism, should help you build your immune system in time for the winter.